My most recent walk down the bookstore aisle led me to a different book related to death.  “The Death of You” by Miguel Chen is about looking at your own mortality.  He does it in a funny yet thought provoking way.

An uncomfortable topic for our society, I find that those living with grief can speak easier, more open about death.  Probably because we are all about the sadness and the lasting effects it brings. When a death occurs, we begin to look at our own life, our values, what is important, what do we need or want to do before our own time comes to an end. We might reach out to an estranged relationship.  We might look at our wills and our own wishes. Most women, I included, feel a need to purge.  (We don’t want any dust bunnies left behind for relatives to talk about!). But it’s more than that.

Looking at your own death forces one to admit that we will not be here forever.  It forces us to think about what our life might look like with this in mind. It helps us get comfortable with death. And that is what Miguel, a fellow grief warrior does.  Having experienced great loss (his mother, his sister, aunt, and several brother-like friends), Miguel understands and compassionately illustrates the aspects of this taboo subject.

Each chapter brings a different idea around death, the types, the impact, exploring and pondering on the many ways death arrives and what happens after. Miguel writes to help us understand the complexity of ‘the end’.  He includes meditation suggestions, personal stories, and humor. These combined make it an easy read.  Each chapter beautifully flows into the next, frequently reminding us about what we can do for those of us still breathing (including ourselves).

I found myself laughing.  I found myself thinking about certain things for the rest of the day. It gave me clarity on what I believe happens after we die but more importantly what I want to do before I die.

Miguel said about those he has lost, “What I can say is that what time we had together was invaluable, and death can’t change that.”

A reminder that spending time with those we love is the greatest gift of all and one that we get to keep forever.