Each of us, living with grief, says the same thing when we meet a fellow grief warrior. “I did not want to join this community.” And who would? Yet, here we are. Sentenced to a life of bitter sweet.
There is a very special bond I share with the mothers of those who have also lost a child. We live the unimaginable, together.
In this circle, I can cry, every time, with no apologies. In this circle I can take off my mask and share how it sucks that I am robbed of all the typical things a mother looks forward to. And they get it. Sadly, they really get it.
But it is also a group of hope. Who else can you ask for ideas on how to spend the first holiday, birthday, vacation, without your baby? These friends know. And their ideas and sentiments are creative, meaningful and healing. This is a new set of friends that help each other move forward with grief. We are learning, wanting to share life with our child that is still very much with us. We just can’t hold them like other mothers can hold theirs.
Recent posts about Shared Grief
- Where Did You Go? by Christina RasmussenOne of the very first books I read after Zane was killed was written by Christina Rasmussen. Her story was about her beloved husband who passed from cancer. Her heart could not believe that he was gone, so she set out to search for a way to connect with his spirit. The results and how… Read more: Where Did You Go? by Christina Rasmussen
- Coping with Grief Overload by Dr. WolfeltI preach that when you experience more than 3 of the top 10 stresses within a year, you become ill. Death is the top stress and when our family has experienced over a dozen in less than two years, how do I wonder why I am not feeling well. It is called grief overload. And… Read more: Coping with Grief Overload by Dr. Wolfelt
- Imagine Heaven by John BurkeJohn Burke is an author, international speaker, and a pastor. His book shares the near-death experience (NDE) of hundreds of people and their story of what they saw when their soul was temporarily disconnected from their body. This subject makes an interesting read. The fact that every person had a similar experience (regardless of age,… Read more: Imagine Heaven by John Burke
- “Finding Meaning” by David KesslerEach of us who lives with grief, searches for new meaning. David Kessler’s book, “Finding Meaning” is said to hold the tools to help those experiencing loss find just that. He writes as the foremost expert on grief but more importantly, he writes as a father who lost his own son. I was told this… Read more: “Finding Meaning” by David Kessler
- “Ageless Soul” by Thomas MooreZane had a thing about old age. He didn’t like it. He watched our friends grow older with complicated health issues and told me that wasn’t what he would want. I laughed at him saying he had little choice so get used to it! (I see the irony of my reply now). Zane shared his… Read more: “Ageless Soul” by Thomas Moore