Claire is a therapist, specializing in grief who, through her book Conscious Grieving, offers the reader four linear orientations that happen when one experiences loss. She encourages the reader to refer to this book many times as each time something new could be discovered.

Entering into grief is the first orientation which was filled with affirmations of the feelings that come when loss first arrives. I enjoyed the reflection she had at the end of each point which gave room for thought and understanding. The first reflection, “Can you give yourself permission to grieve in a way you haven’t yet?”  I was curious, how many ways are there?  Is there a checklist to cross off and if so, how does that help one heal.

The second orientation was about engaging with grief and included how to recognize trauma, the effects of grief on the brain and emotions such as guilt and anger. She includes eleven tips on how to manage anger in a healthy way. The reflection related to triggers asked the reader to think of their most recent trigger and answer, “Was the experience an opportunity to address something you’d been avoiding?” I felt that. Hard.

Orientation number three was how to surrender to your grief. Claire writes that “the answer to your suffering is in surrendering to it.” By leaning in to our grief, we allow grief to reveal what matters, explore a different future as we are never to be the same. She asks the reader to reflect on the questions, “what will it take for you to surrender? What forms of support do you need? What must you do to stop resisting?”

The fourth orientation is about transforming through the grief. This section alludes to the idea that there is another (more joyful) side of loss. It is always this focus that I seem to get stuck on. However, Claire includes a chapter of how we can continue our connection with our loved ones. Moving out of the mindset that our relationship has ended opens a new sort of relationship with them. The fourth orientation is all about how we can become more aware of how death changes our values and our own life here on earth. It truly was a chapter of hope.

The book includes a tool kit for coping with grief, honoring our loved ones and asking for help. Overall, it is a great book to give anyone who walks the path of grief. Claire was correct that her book does have something for everyone, no matter where you are along your journey.