Tag: #copingwithloss

Over the past year, I have experienced the value of solitude. An accumulation of my grief, my anger, and my cancer brought to the forefront the question, how am I to ever live wholly, and thus began my quest for sanctuary.

I called it a modified sabbatical. In planning how this would be for me, Tango was still here, and I did not want to leave him or my family and friends. I would still have to work. I hate to travel, so the magical trails in Spain or the coastal beaches of Mexico were not options.

I researched, prior to starting, the components of a good sabbatical and learned that having the support of your immediate family deepens the experience by removing the guilt of spending time alone.   They don’t necessarily need to approve, but they need to respect your space.  I am grateful that mine came on board in full agreement. A sign that love sits above all else.

The length of a sabbatical can vary. I chose a year, starting after my surgery as I wanted my heart to be consoled as well as my physical body as I recuperated from a double mastectomy. Although I had some periods of time where my sabbatical seemed to get lost in the business of life, I did manage to find sanctuary in the days I made my sabbatical a priority.

Your place of sanctuary can be just a room or a home or carved out time in your car; what is important I learned is what you fill it with to appease your soul. Candles, pictures, furniture, plants, decorations, what brings your soul joy? Your space must be filled with items that bring you a feeling of peace.  Of connection.  I chose to fill mine with everything my ancestors left behind and each time I enter I feel their presence. It shifts my mood immediately to a higher vibration. I am amongst those who loved me and still watch over me from above.

The key component of any sabbatical is intent. Set your intent. My intent was to heal. This included meditations, massages, journalling, indulging in a great wine or a Hendricks Gin and trying new recipes with fresh ingredients from the farmer’s market.  I read, completed jigsaw puzzles, and took long walks in beautiful parks. Yes, I did still work, and my social life was stuffed full, but the moments I had in my sanctuary brought balance to the crazy reality of mine.

As my sabbatical ends, I reflect on this year that passed so very quickly. In the beginning my journal reflects frustration with how slow I am healing and how much there is to do. As my writing continues to capture my progress, I noticed that frustration became less, and gratitude became more.  Even with as many struggles as our family has endured; I found that creating a sanctuary brought strength for me. It brought clarity of what I can control and what I am feeling that I have ignored for a very long time. I feel like I am on the right path to healing. This experience has encouraged me to continue placing solitude on the top of my priority list.  Through my sabbatical, I have discovered the importance of a sanctuary. It is time and place that the body needs to be able to hear the soul speak.