I am a sucker for Hallmark movies.  They are my brain candy.  Zane would laugh at me, as I would tape and then binge watch into the summer months!  He called me cute. I now believe that the messages of these gentle and comforting movies are sent from above.

Since Zane’s death, I have found that there is some sort of cosmic coincidence that I choose a certain movie from the collection of recordings on a particular day, that has a specific message I need to hear, on that day.  Such was the movie, “Debbie Macomber’s A Mrs. Miracle Christmas”.  A story of loss; a woman who lost a daughter, and recently her husband, her granddaughter, having lost her mother at six and most recently her foster child (although the foster child did not die, he went back to his biological mother) and even Mrs. Miracle, obviously the angel sent to ‘fix’ their broken hearts…she too had lost a child.  The irony of watching all their broken hearts, stuck in grief, and trying to move forward.  Who can’t relate to this?  I was crying before the first advertisement.

What I love about Hallmark movies is that there is always a peaceful ending.  There is always hope. This one did not disappoint. The obvious messages: have faith, lean on your friends for support, honor your loved ones (here and those who have passed) were loud and clear.  It is the subliminal messages that, if you watch closer, are the messages from heaven.  Or, for me, come from Zane.

This movie told us of an angel who knew firsthand the impact of losing a child and yet she continued, serving others, holding her faith, experiencing joy in her every day. And why? Because she knew life was eternal.  She knew her daughter existed, and that they would see each other again. There was the message for the granddaughter who is reminded that her role is of mother. Mother is a role that is shared with your own children and those children who ‘show up’ in your life for however short a time that might be.  You are always mother. And Grandma…yes, she heals and moves forward but the more important, quieter message is that she moves forward because she embraces her grief and finds ways to make friends with it.

Oh Hallmark, I don’t know what I would do without you.  Your movies have become a lifeline to tuning out the current reality for a bit and immersing myself in the hope and joy found in your characters.  Whose message, magically, sticks with me and gives me strength to go on.

Thank you, Zane, for picking out just the right messages that I need to hear.  Or be reminded of. This last movie was a doozy; I needed to be reminded I am always mother, that you are here if I just ‘see’ you. And that my grief will one day softly live in the ways in which I honor you.  There is hope I will feel joy again. And that is the Christmas gift from Hallmark.