I must get past the pain to tell this story. I must get past the everyday business that stole from the last moments. I must get past the selfishness of dealing with the plans and expectations of others. I must get past all this to get to the center of the reality. Of the importance of what just happened. The story of Romeo & Juliet in 2023.
Theirs was the true taboo story. First cousins that fell in love and knew they could never be, so continued with their lives as relatives…marrying others, leading their own lives and yet somehow, each knowing, that the universe knew better. They were to be together. And how could that be? So, after two failed marriages for one and one failed marriage for the other, they reunited, were married in San Francisco and the rest is history. They lived happily ever after for 42 years. Until age and poor health brought them to the decision to leave this realm together.
Juliet loved her man. She agreed to leave because he suggested it and her health was not good either. More importantly, he was her first love and her only true love. She had a strong will and a desire to create adventures for the two of them. She provided him with a life of beauty and friends and trips captured in photos that filled many boxes for us. She was always to be with him. Death would not change this.
Romeo was in love with her. He had children but she was his queen, and he spent his life trying to balance fatherhood and husband hood. He was a gentle man, a kind man, a giving man. He cared for his Juliet with a passion and dedication that some could not understand. He showered her with cards and roses and jewelry. When I met them, they instantly became family. They were a couple of sweeties who we enjoyed many special moments with over martinis and wine.
Their decision to leave this earth caused family and friends some emotional pain. It was the love for them that had us all agree it was the best decision for them. And so began the many tasks of preparing for this day. The family, each dealing with anticipatory guilt, each holding a combination of past, present, and future needs, wants and fears, which raised voices and misunderstandings; including the questions of who loved who best and what is the definition of family and who deserves what. All things that had me spiralling spiritually as to how does this even matter with the action at hand. Our friends are about to die.
That is the problem of knowing the due date of death. We are aware, we don’t like it and we often try to control it or tweak the details to suit us. It gets murky as to what is best for your loved ones and what you might think is best. Opinions become facts and conversations are twisted. At a time where we should be closer and celebrating the lives of those we are about to lose, instead we become angry. What I discovered was that grief becomes even more complicated by unresolved past issues.
At the end of the day, not much could be fixed. We took Juliet to lunch for martinis. Romeo stayed home with the children. It seemed apparent that there were two families, not one saying goodbye. The ugly and sad side of any complicated love story. Where family caught up with their own expectations becomes blinded to the love that is of Romeo & Juliet.
We brought both to their bedroom to prepare for their departure. They had only, at the end of the day, a few moments alone because of the many friends and family rushing in to say their last goodbyes. I said to my husband, “what do you think were the last words they said to each other in that short of time?” What do you say to the man you love to the depth of your soul? And Romeo, what do you say to the woman who has given you her entire life and her afterlife? What possible words can be said to answer that question? Are there any?
Lying together, family at each side, Romeo and Juliet were injected with the medical drip to release them from this realm. I had placed a heart shaped stone of selenite to offer them a peaceful trip to eternity. They laid there, holding hands, falling into their transitional sleep. I heard Romeo say, with a smile on his face, “I love you sweetie” and he passed. She spoke of family and how they were with her and passed with a contented sigh. A surreal ending.
It was so quiet, so peaceful. There was no fight; it was total acceptance of the opportunity to move on. Romeo & Juliet, like their Shakespearean counterparts, had their trials and obstacles to overcome with those who opposed their love. They had their struggles to find balance amongst the defiance. They found strength in the knowledge that they are soulmates. They demonstrated love and loyalty and faithfulness to a degree experienced by few. They were not without their arguments, frustrations that come with a love that spanned across the decades, but in the end, they chose each other.
I hope that Juliet left with the comfort that her Romeo loved her first and foremost. And I hope that Romeo knew the love of his Juliet was immeasurable. He was always her only one.
It was about the two of them. They made it about the two of them, barring all else, it was about the two of them. And thus, they chose to leave this life together. Holding hands. Our very own modern-day Romeo & Juliet.
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