One of the very first books I read after Zane was killed was written by Christina Rasmussen. Her story was about her beloved husband who passed from cancer. Her heart could not believe that he was gone, so she set out to search for a way to connect with his spirit. The results and how we can do the same, are captured in her book, “Where Did You Go?”
I bought this book because of the front cover. The title was the question I was asking. The tag line promises a “life-changing journey to connect with those we’ve lost”. Who doesn’t want that? Recently, I found it on my bookshelf and wondered why I didn’t remember this one. I started looking through it again and realized that I comprehended more than I thought. I discovered that my current beliefs and practices were born from this book.
Christina, who is grounded in science, relates to death through the physics lens. She has created a meditational practice using seven ‘chapters’ to open your mind and possibly change the way you grieve. I trusted her words when she said, “Get ready for surprises and be doubted by your friends. Be okay with that. This is your journey, not theirs.”
She suggests listening to binaural beats, a frequency of music which creates a shift in brain activity and drumbeats, which can create a trance state. With that background, she illustrates a ‘temple’ you begin to create through meditation. Back then, I confused temple, thinking it was a place she was trying to get me to create, and I didn’t want that. I just wanted to be with Zane. Her suggestions were a bit crazy, even for me. So, I finished the book, put it on the shelf and carried on with my grief.
Reading it a second time, I found myself nodding. Yes, I listen to binaural beats all the time, it’s the only music I can hear. My favorite frequency is 963Hz, which was also the frequency Zane listened to. My meditations usually begin visualizing a path I am on and walking up to a door. The door changes, depending on my state of mind, but there is a door. This is the first piece of the temple Christina suggests that you create. It opens your subconscious mind. My meditations are grounded in her theory to how we connect to our loved ones. I had forgotten all of this.
I am reading it over. Now, deeper into my grief journey, and many, many real connections with Zane and my other loved ones across the veil, I am relishing in its suggestions. I am hanging on to each idea to finesse what I already am doing, hoping to strengthen what I already know. What she is teaching is belief. Belief that our loved ones have only exited this realm. They are still very much alive inside a cosmic consciousness that is of one with the infinite universe which includes us. Thank you, Christina, for your far-out theory that has been the salvation of my grief.
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