Good Mourning Grief

A blog about my adventures as a grief warrior

Tag: mediumship

Grief 101: Beliefs are not made of Stone

August 23, 2020 /

I’m not sure what your beliefs are.  I do know that when great loss is experienced, whatever your beliefs are comes into question.  I always believed there is a reason for everything.  I believed in a higher power to which I prayed to daily and raised my children to believe you must ‘trust the plan’.  And then 2018 arrived and I can’t believe there is any sort of magical plan to justify what has happened. 

So when my girlfriend dropped off several books on stories shared by various popular mediums, I placed the pile on my shelf and pondered is this for me?   I believed in angels.  I believed in after life and perhaps that made it easier to think there are spirits able to visit us.  Or maybe it is just a sheer desire to connect with Zane again. When you are grieving, all you have is hope that your loved one is nearby still.   And I believe in love, God, vibration energy…things I can’t see or explain so it wasn’t a far stretch for me to believe in the spirit world.

The first book from this pile was “Unfinished Business” by James Van Praagh, a world-famous medium with over 25 years experience speaking to the other side.

This book was about those who no longer live on earth, what they can teach us about life. It contains many stories of readings he has given and how loved ones from across the veil have brought powerful and healing messages.

Some chapters resonated with me, others gave me hope.  One chapter (on karma) scared the crap out of me.  Overall a great read containing lessons that all of us can practice while we are here on earth.

Every belief I had, I have now questioned. Some beliefs I have a new understanding with. Others, the jury is still out. And my grief has given me new beliefs, among them that anything is possible.

A Birthday Gift from Zane

August 16, 2020 /

August 13th gathered dozens of friends in our back yard for a BBQ and a toast to Zane. It should have been his 29th birthday.  “Good food, good drink, good company”.  Zane’s 3 key ingredients to happiness.  We honor him by including these things in every celebration.

Earlier this year I had ordered a memory bead.  I wanted a custom designed pendant that represented the calming nature of our favorite areas. I gave full artistic leverage to Laurel.  I trusted her to work with my son’s spirit to create a piece that would bring me comfort. 

The night before Zane’s birthday, Laurel called me.  She asked; “where will you be tomorrow, I need to see you”.  I told her I’d be home.  She came over that afternoon with a small box and a story that gave me goose bumps. She had not been feeling well and had laid down for a nap.  She had this sudden pull, a calling to get up and get working.  She went into her studio and pulled out some glass and the little bag of Zane’s ashes and had in her mind an idea for my pendant.  What she thought and what ended up the piece she put in the kiln were two very different pieces.  She felt guided by something to do this piece.  Could it be Zane?  She had never experienced this before.

She told me, as I opened the box, that she felt so strongly that she had to get this to me today, the 13th.  “It is a gift for my mama”, she heard. Inside the box was a glass pendant.  Half of the pendant was cream and beige colored glass, like a river edge. The other half was ice blue with bubbles and swirls and inside a streak in the shape of a feather.  It has 3 green, tiny fir trees, symbolic of me and my two babies. It is perfect. It is our happy place captured and threaded onto a silver chain that hangs just over my heart.

Laurel did not know it was Zane’s birthday. She never experienced artistic channeling before and she said that it was a bit unsettling, but really cool.  She said I have a son whose spirit is loud and engaging and knows what he wants.  He directed the whole thing.

I laughed, seems death has not changed his personality.

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