Good Mourning Grief

A blog about my adventures as a grief warrior

Tag: #poetry

Keep Moving by Maggie Smith

July 27, 2025 /

My husband gifted me with a book he thought I might enjoy related to loss, creativity and change. The author, Maggie Smith, is a poet and her book was a different style from the other books on my shelf. I snuggled into what I thought would be an easy read.

Her loss was a marriage of almost nineteen years. To cope with her pain, she began each day writing a note to herself to answer the question, “What now?” And her answer inspired the last sentence of each thought, “Keep moving.” I wasn’t sure I would be able to relate to her suggestions. How could her grief compare to the loss of a child? Her first post was about the ending of one thing is the beginning of another, to not stay in the past…I realized this might not be such an easy read after all.

She has three sections to this book. Revision, resilience, transformation. Each chapter begins with her sharing an experience of hers, so you begin to get to know her story deeper. It is then followed by several poetic posts each ending with Keep Moving. Each post carries with it a reason or idea to ponder how one might better manage grief.

Some posts I debated. One of her first posts read, “Stop calling your heart broken; your heart works just fine. If you are feeling-love, anger, gratitude, grief-it is because your heart is doing its work. Let it. Keep Moving.” I believe that my heart is broken and such, I am learning to live with that. I am also in awe of how it does its work with such pain.

Some posts affirmed what every griever experiences, the resistance of transformation. She writes, “It is not your job to make other people comfortable with who you are.  Be wary of those who don’t want you to change or grow. Grow anyway-there is no alternative. Keep Moving.” Sound advice for anyone having to move forward by choice or by fate.

Other posts were profound. “Sit with your doubt, your questions, your fear of the unknown, and do your best to be comfortable with them. Remember that you have no choice; knowing everything isn’t an option. Don’t compound your anxiety by being ashamed of it. Keep Moving.”

Her address to how we feel weary, she refers to as soul hangovers to which she encourages the reader, “…Even as you carry darkness inside you, shine. Defy the darkness by shining. Keep Moving.”

And I think that is my favorite takeaway from this book, her mantra Keep Moving. With grief, often we feel as if we move forward only to fall back, again. But we get up and we keep going, we keep moving in the direction of hope. We keep moving with the memories of our loved ones. We keep moving to honor, to celebrate their love. We keep moving towards the possibility of peace, of connection. We keep moving because we must.

Your Candle Calls to You

December 10, 2023 /

Zane loved candles. He had different scents, different sizes, different containers to which he would choose one to light, or several, depending on his mood. His candles were his message to the night skies that he was awake and aware of the universal magic. I have ceremoniously burnt his candles over the years, leaving a little bit of each to which I have stored in a paper bag. This year I have repurposed them in honor of Candle Lighting Day.

My daughter and I bought small vases and wicks and a pot. We chose the candle stubs of white, pink, and red and placed them in the pot. We melted them and poured the new color into the vases and set them to cool.

I had a lot of fun doing this. Repurposing what Zane had lit years ago. Keeping his favorite scents and melting them into another form of ‘life’ to enjoy over again. It was easy and yet so very sentimental.

This year’s tradition of lighting a candle in honor of our children who have passed, I will use the beautiful illumination of Zane’s recycled candles. The flame, glowing into the dark night for Zane, and for the children of friends who walk this path with me.

Taking your memories, the pieces left behind,

putting them into a pot, stirring them gently together to melt,

to liquify and turn a new color, a soft holiday shade.

Pouring them into unbroken vessels to cool,

they take a newfound and beautiful form,

a new glow that will light the room

and fill it with a scent of spice and cedar.

How beautiful, how fun it was

to create a different beginning                                                                                            

from something you once enjoyed

that I will, we will,

now enjoy.

The irony is not lost

how the candle you once burned,

sending your thoughts to the dark night skies,

now burn anew, filled with a reincarnated energy

as if to answer you

‘We are still here.’

Alas, each flame that flickers,

millions across the globe,

has the same message.

If the tears, we cry could beckon your return…

The candles soft glow reminding the Universe,

our hearts will always ache for the warm light

of our children’s earthly presence.

The Arrival of Spring

April 17, 2022 /

Easter announces that spring is here. The season that hints of longer, warmer days to arrive. The season of restlessness and the question of ‘what else’ might we do.  There is a magic about spring, no wonder this season is a favorite for poetry.

Our family enjoys poetry, reading and writing it. Putting your feelings into a flow of stanzas helps clarify feelings and may resonate with others in a way that simple conversations cannot.  I read about the healing power of putting your words into poetic form. Try to express your feelings in haiku fashion or summarize an experience in only 6 words for impact. You need not be Robert Frost or Sylvia Path (although both are inspiring to read!)

Zane would choose to write poems in English and Spanish. One of his poems was a request from a mother who had lost her son to a drug overdose. I’ll save that poem for another time. Today, with the sun shining and the blue sky covering us, I wanted to share one of mine.

Mother Spring

The buds on the trees, bursting to open,
clouds float by, their miscellaneous shapes
forming soft notes to those below
birds chirp as they gather
to build the family nest…

Spring demonstrates, the cycle of life continues
ready or not, here she comes
with her canvas of colors
to be seen in due time
Her gentle teardrops falling
cleansing the dirt of the winter dead

She brings with her evidence that hope is here
in the quiet morning dew
and the crisp mountain air
She puts in front of us
a kaleidoscope of tiny miracles
whispering to witness her magic.

all that we see, touch, hear and do
connects us to her bigger picture-
that of the moon and the heavens
where many of our own
shine down in twinkling lights.

Her energy is of peace, of love
letting us sense this other realm,
which is invisible to the earthly eye
it can only be seen, experienced
with a broken heart.

feathers fall in our path,
butterflies, dragonflies, wildlife visitors,
she sends with tiny messages on their backs
assuring us, life is a perennial cycle
of rebirth, of eternal connections
that reach across space and time
to those we love and miss.

Take this season to open your journal and pour your heart out in verse.  It is therapeutic. It is good mourning.

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