If more reading was one of your New Year’s goals, pick up a copy of Gary Roe’s book, “Shattered”.

I am not sure when I read this book or if I wrote about it before.  I can’t seem to find proof of either happened. And yet, when I open this book to share, I know I have read and written about it.  So, what the universe is doing with tricking me into thinking I haven’t, led me to believe that perhaps there is something about this book that is worth repeating.

What one can expect with this book is truthful, applicable learning of a community who shares grief.  Divided into 6 categories, Gary takes the reader through each emotionally charged area with stories, facts, questions to ponder and ideas to try to support your grief.

It is worth a second read and when I reread it, I got even more out of it.  Different time, different stage, I leaned into the idea that negative thoughts and self medicating is natural, I don’t have to be brave. I empathized with the parents whose physical ailments are real but the energy to heal is not there. I heard that my anger is about the loss of so very much and most importantly, it is ok to be mad. Mad is good. Mad is about acknowledging the unfairness, the insanity of having to live without the physical presence of our child.

This book is a must read. A repeated read. Gary brings through this book, a reminder that grief is an individual journey, but we are never alone.

Thank you, Gary, for taking the courage to write on a subject that had not hit you directly. Thank you for working with and sharing with all of us, your compassion for our pain. Thank you for identifying the dark feelings our society feels should be ignored or fixed. Some things can’t be fixed. Thank you for reassuring us that we will never be the same and that is ok. Thank you for giving us hope that one day, there might be moments we will not cry in pain but rather in joy.

I don’t believe that I will ever heal, ever get over, ever get pass my loss. But I find a small comfort in the words of others who travel the same path that peace can be found. Gary’s work, and the collected stories inside his book truly support good mourning.