I am not sure if it is that the holidays are done and so we come into the New Year exhausted or if it is the overwhelming feeling of another year without Zane, but grief has depleted me. I toss and turn at night with cramps and twitches to wake late and force myself out of bed feeling more like a zombie than a middle-aged woman.

When I share these feelings with my fellow grief warriors, they nod their head in agreement and understanding.  Getting through the holidays is hard work.  We are exhausted. And here we are.  New Year, new goals, new hopes all wrapped around our never-ending pain.  How do we refuel?

In grief, we are taught to be kind to ourselves. We are told that if all you did was get out of bed or just kept breathing, to consider it a win. That’s how tough mourning is. So, we hold on to that; it sets the bar low to feel some sort of hope that we can manage another year. We are told to take care of ourselves.  A tea, a healthy meal, a walk in a park, a phone call to a good friend and a great book to read are essentials. Choose one, choose a couple…keep a list next to you of what makes you feel good. 

And mind your day.  Make sure it includes self-care.  Make sure it isn’t too full, especially of things that drain you. Be aware that you are depleted and give yourself permission to be ok with that, holding on to the reality that this too can pass. Or at least subside for a bit.

January is winter and its cold weather, short days and holiday hangover is a tough month. It brings out the zombie in you. Know this and choose to treat yourself softly.  The spring will be here soon, promising to bring a new energy that will help move us forward along our path.  Take care. Of you.