Breaking Bread in the Park

With spring here, I am encouraging my family, the youth I serve and myself to get out and enjoy the benefits of a mindful walk. These are unplugged moments that Zane taught me to take.  He took them often, day or night, as needed. I tried, after Tango had passed, but they were just too painful.  Each step reminded me of my little companion. With each slow and meditative walk, we enjoyed the sun, the park sounds and the sights of spring coming to visit. Tango especially enjoyed the smells, we called his ‘pee mail’. I thought it might be easier to pick one spot and sit, so I bought a Tim Horton’s meal and had lunch at the park bench where we usually started our walks.  I shared this experience in a letter to Zane.

Dear Zane,

I took a Tim Horton soup and one honey glazed Timbit to the reservoir to have lunch with Tango’s spirit. I cried as soon as I got there. I have not been at this spot since I took him just before he passed.  As I took the lid off my soup, a crow joined me.  Or maybe it was a raven. Either way I found it funny that this very large bird thought he might share my bowl of soup. I took the pieces of chicken out of my soup.  I would always feed them to Tango. So, I threw them on the ground for the bird. He would tentatively hop over to the piece of chicken, look around, and then grab it. I left one piece on the picnic table to see if he would come up and he did! It was neat to be sitting in the park sharing a bowl of hot soup with this bird.

I went back to the car to get the Timbit and shared that with the bird. He flew to another tree and squawked. It sounded like “thank you” but maybe it was “over here” as another bird from nowhere showed up to join him.  The two flew back to the picnic bench as if he was showing the other what he found. They shared the last piece of donut. When they flew away, he left me one little feather, from his chest, which I took home.

I realized that these little feathers I have might be from the soft chest of these birds; the location of their heart, as if I was receiving just that.  A little piece of their heart. My feathers are from you, a little piece of your heart found in the small soft feather of a bird. Neat. I will do more visits there. And hopefully more lunches with my feathered friend.  

Tango used to love birds and they often would fly around us on our walks or hop along beside Tango who was too busy sniffing to notice. That lunch opened my thinking to the possibilities that the signs we look for, and receive, from our loved ones might be more connected than we know. Their meaning might be deeper than we understand. Did this bird just come to scavenge my lunch? Possibly. But then why did he come so close; we shared a picnic bench together. How or why did he leave behind one tiny feather?

Yes, it is true, we can read anything we wish into the incidents we experience, and why not? I enjoyed contemplating why this bird was so friendly and how his little feather souvenir was left in the spot he perched as we shared my lunch. I believe that each experience we have has multiple levels of meaning and the truth goes past the obvious or the science. And it is this belief that brings me peace that both my son and my dog orchestrated a beautiful afternoon for me to ‘break bread’ with another soul.