It was as good as a funeral can get. Purposely planned to be held on his birthday. I like the irony of having the funeral on the person’s birthday. We did the same for Zane. It is Shakespearean poetry to celebrate the person who passed on the same day they came to earth. A sort of full circle, the cycle continues vibe.
The kids planned a party with all their father’s wishes included. And then some. They made him proud. The room was filled with family and friends, reunited with a drink in hand and lively conversations. Stories of our friend Kirk were shared, and tearful speeches and a video that captured each stage of his life. “I know dad is here,” his son said, “I can feel him”. We could all feel him. His spirit was tangible.
As we danced on the patio, shouting out the lyrics of “Do you believe in love”, to the heavens, each of us were taken back and held in the love we have shared with Kirk. Friend, father, grandfather, brother, husband…this man lived a full life. The proof was in the faces of the many incredible people he connected us to in life and death.
Kirk’s example of a life well lived, including his own personal tribulations, is why the room was filled with more laughter than tears. He was about “never give up”. He was about embracing every experience as a learning tool to become a better, stronger person. He was about “…and then some”. These are attributes we can adopt for ourselves in honor of him.
Whatever you want to call them, funerals, celebrations, memorials, they are all meant to be about goodbye. They are supposed to be designed to offer closure. And yes, we hold space to remember and honor our loved ones. And yes, it is about acknowledging our pain that we can no longer hear their voice or feel their touch. But it does not have to be about goodbye.
I believe that these gatherings are not about letting go but rather about holding on differently. How do we move forward with them in spirit. What promises are we making to continue to honor them past this day. What about them will we carry within us as we continue living here. How will we say their name. When we gather to say goodbye, let’s not call it an end but rather a new beginning of how we will continue their story. “And then some…”
Kirk’s last gift of this day, to the people he loved, came from a cloud of soft thunder that reminded all of us “Our loved ones are never truly gone.” They sit beside us. Love never dies.
RIP Kirk 🙏🏻