Zane was two when I took him to the Lilac Festival for the first time. It was a free event with vendors and music and bubbles filling the streets of downtown. It was magical. We both loved the energy of so many people gathering to celebrate the upcoming spring and enjoy the scents of the lilac trees outlining the walkway. After that, he was hooked and attended every year.

This year, I wanted to be there. At my work, we are creating a social media project in honor of Zane. What better day to kick it off then at Lilac Festival, the symbolic event of shaking of the (winter) blues and reconnecting with nature and people. This day captures Zane’s persona beautifully.

There were over 100,000 people this year. Including Zane. The bubbles floating around us. The man who stood in front of us wearing a t-shirt with the quote ‘the dude abides’ were all signs that my son continues to attend this springtime favorite. The festival was as wonderful as I had remembered. We stopped for lunch at a favorite watering hole and nestled into the booth. Jose had invited a friend to join us. When she arrived, she slid in between Jon and Roydon and Jose began introductions. Pointing to each of us as he spoke, he said, “this is mom and dad, this is my brother-in-law and this is my sister”. My heart lit up. I have called Jose my other kid for years. He calls me his Mama J. But hearing it out loud to someone who doesn’t know us or our story, was different.  

I speak of how blessed our family is that Zane has such great friends who continue to include us in their lives, in his honor. My daughter spoke at his celebration of how she grew up with many of his friends, who were like brothers to her. On that day, they promised her to be there as Zane would have been, and they have kept that promise. The bonus is Jon, and I were also adopted by them. I am the mother of five other boys.

We left the kids that afternoon in the company of their friends to continue soaking up Lilac Festival. My heart was full, a rare day where sweet seemed to reign over bitter.  The essence of the Lilac Festival showering over us, the bonds of la familia celebrating a sunny Sunday. A moment each year that Zane discovered early in his life, and whose love of the energy this event brings, he has shared with all of us. Lilac Festival is a tradition of warm, simple connections. An annual gathering our entire family enjoys.  I must remember to attend each year, as my kids do. It is good mourning.